Friday, April 30, 2010

Searching for my purpose

Okay, so here I am weeks later from my last post.  I'm finding myself searching for "me" everyday.  I've discovered that sometimes that hardest person to find can be yourself.  I feel lost.  I'm struggling to find my purpose.  Yes, I know that part of it is to be a wonderful mother and wife and all of that good jazz, but what else am I supposed to be doing???  Right now is when I wish I had that crystal ball.  I know that my future is not for me to know.  I understand that he knows the plans he has for me.  I get it!  But for now, what direction am I supposed to be putting my focus in???



I've been considering going back to school, my cosmetology license is getting me nowhere and I hate doing hair.  Or maybe helping out at the boutique in town, since I love that kind of stuff.  Maybe, I should just push on with my blog, I do love writing in it (but I'm always worried about what my readers think).  I don't know, but what I DO KNOW is that we need more income.  How can I contribute?  I don't want to be a waitress the rest of my life, but it sure does work out well for right now.  But, I also don't want to wait too much longer before deciding to go back to school.  Every week I feel like maybe, just maybe, I've figured it out.  And then, WOW, maybe not.

Please, will somebody tell me that they've been "here".  Will you share your story or tell me how you found some peace maybe?


crush. blog said...

Jenny, I am a SAHM mom of 4 girls. Ages 15-5. My youngest entered full day kindergarten last Sept. and I was LOST!! It tooks months to gain some footing. I went on lots of walks trying to find out who I was. I came up with - I LOVE blogging. Supporting others. Handmade goodness - so I started crush. with my sister, daughters, and good friends. I also offered to watch my BFF 's 5 mo. baby four days a week when she goes back to work this mothe - she pays me less than 1/2 of what a "good" center costs and we get some baby love in the house again. Think about what you LOVE and pour your enrgy into that!! After talking with you briefly on BLOG FROG - I think you may be on to something!!!

I'd love to see you get a blog makeover - every good handmade shop is powered by a fun blog - so here's to seeing more of you on blog frog in MAY! Keep startin and commenting on discussions!!

Full House said...

Jenny as your best friend I am sorry that I can't just fix this need for something in your life for you. But, I want you to know that I love you and think that you are a perfect best friend to have! Jill

Melissa G. said...

Hi Jenny,
You're not alone in this. We've all been there at some point. Hang in there.

I think for me the real peace came when I changed my focus. Instead of looking at the hear and now of what I should be doing I looked at the end result. What is going to matter in the end? Your relationship with God has eternal value. Spend time getting to know, like really know, Him. He is the one who can give you the peace, joy and direction you seek. Only Him. You won't find it anywere else.

I think sometimes we get so caught up in trying to figure out what God wants us to do that we miss the whole point! He tells us in His word what He wants us to do. Love Him with all our hearts and love others. We can do that every day with the people He brings into our lives. We don't have to wait for some great or grand plan to come about. It's about living with Him and Him living through us each momemt.

Anyway, sorry, i didn't mean to preach. =) But i hope you get what i'm trying to say.

beachhouse etc. said...

hi jenny
i feel your pain although my pain was a few years back i think you need to follow your passion because that is what you will not get tired of and you will be fullfilled and usually whatever you love you will be successful.... at keep up with your etsy shop... it will grow but don't expect it over night just take baby steps toward your goal and you will accomplish it..thanks for stopping by my blog suzanne

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