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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

I'M A RAMBLING woMAN.....

YUP, I'M BACK AGAIN.....

          and can't promise you when i'll be back again

EVER SINCE THE WORLD TOOK MY COFFEE CREAMER AWAY.....

          life isn't the same and i'm always emotional

AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO BLOGS......

          and feels bad for the people who read her sob stories

IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE BEEN HERE.....

          i cried because i couldn't remember how to set anything up on my design page

MY NEW BACKGROUND'S TITLED "ROCKSTAR".....

          far from how i've been feeling lately

SO I THINK THAT I'M CHASING MY DREAM AGAIN.....

          and it's really making my life tough getting there

EVER SINCE I STARTED SCHOOL.....

          i feel like i suck at the rest of my life now

I HAVE NO TIME FOR ANYTHING I LOVE.....

          trading it all for something that i think i'm going to love

MY PLATE HAS NEVER BEEN THIS FULL.....

          and i continue to keep shoveling more on

I'M NOT SURE IF ANYONE UNDERSTANDS.....

          they all just keep encouraging me

WAIT NOBODY PROBABLY UNDERSTANDS.....

          because i don't tell anyone

I'M EXHAUSTED.....

          crying

          tired

          torn

          broken

          confused

          sad

          disappointed

          angry

AND AMONGST ALL OF THIS.....

          i don't know who i am

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Dead End! and the sand was soft

It's been awhile since my last post as most of you might have noticed.  Well here I am, back again at a fork in the road  right where I was before I took that last turn down a road less traveled by the people I know.

Maybe I'm trying to make something out of nothing that God has intended for me. 

My journey started out like this...

The sun rose, shining light on the beginning of this road.  The colors of the trees down the path were the beautiful color of green in the spring.  I couldn't resist, I needed to take a turn and travel down this path. The gravel seemed packed, as if most all of the bumps had been smoothed out, providing sleek travel.  Everything seemed so wonderful from my view, and then I began to creep closer to those green trees.  They were still so refreshing but the sun began to dim and trees formed a shadow.  The road started to slowly darken, but I still thought that no matter how dark it would be inside of the woods if it was half as refreshing as the outside then things would be fine.  Well, it was dark.  Really dark.  The road was starting to become more narrow the further I traveled but I stayed on it.  It was becoming more and more difficult to travel but I was bound to ignore the difficulties.  And then, the sand stared to soften quickly and I was getting stuck.  Still trying to push my way along I ran into another sign.  This one was about as clear as I wish they were all of the time.  DEAD END!!!

All of the work that I had contributed to was gone just like that.  As if the man above was telling me that he was going to make this one clear to me this time! 

Email, locked out of!  Blogger, completely disappeared and no longer exists!  Facebook, password no longer matches!  I was completely locked out of it all and I felt like the only way to try to get it back was to go through hell and back again.

No thanks God, I can read this sign!


~So here it is... to many more unscheduled but inspiring blog posts "here". On "my" blog!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Here's your sign!

Sometime this is exactly how I feel. Here's my sign. Don't go too fast but don't go to slow. And, good luck!
 Gee thanks. Is that all the clearer it gets?
Well, if I go that way it might take me here, but if I go this way it might take me there. And then I might think that I've got it figured out until the road splits. Isn't it amazing, with all the paths that we can travel in life, only one person knows which way is the right way. 
So, do I make the most of the path that I take, or do I turn around when it gets bumpy? Or should I run when it gets dark, or just keep traveling and know that he's with me? Our, do I just sit at the crossroads and go nowhere? How do I know what to do? How do I know where to go?
As some of you may already know, I've been feeling a little lost lately. But now I've been tossed an opportunity and I'm really struggling. I can't tell you completely what is going on but what I can say is that ever since I was introduced to blogging, I have been in love with it. No, that doesn't mean that I've blogged every day since, or that I know everything about it- by no means. But it does mean that it is something that I really enjoy doing.  My struggle has always been that I have felt as though the things that I have to write about are of no interest to anybody but me and my besties, and maybe that's true, but I've wanted to have something interesting.  I've wanted to blog about things that will keep people coming back because they like what I do and what I blog about. And now I'm trying to figure out if what I've wanted is right in front of me, and even more, if I'm following the right arrow on my sign.
Sometime in life I wish things were just plain and simple. Black and white. Yes and no. Something sort of like this...

Yeah, just like this!  I wish someone would just point me to this and say "here's your sign!"

Monday, May 10, 2010

If music moves your soul...

...then you must here this...


Saturday, May 8, 2010

Field Trip to remember

Yesterday! 
Where should I begin?
Well two days prior it was sunny, warm, and in the 70's.  Yesterday it was cold, wet and rainy, and even snow was in the forecast.  The second graders had planned their field trip to an outdoor baseball game.  I did but I didn't want to go.  The invitation was open to all of the parents and I knew from past experiences that if I didn't go, she would be one of the only few without her mom or dad there.  So I sucked it up and requested the day off of work to join her.  After watching a weeks worth of weather forecasts to see if their prediction would change, it didn't!  Rain, rain, rain, and a little bit of snow!  I had never prayed for snow in May before until now.  The teachers had notified us that regardless of the weather, we would be going, and that they didn't call off games until after the scheduled start time.  They suggested that we dressed warm with hats, jackets, and mittens. Rain gear and blankets were also a good idea to bring.
So we boarded to school bus at 8:30 for the 1 hour+ bus ride.  We arrived down at the game and unloaded the buses to enter into the game and find our seats. It was still raining!  No umbrella or rain jacket was going to keep us dry.  The bleachers had standing water puddles on them, and did I forget to mention that this was all completely outdoors? Yeah, for real!  So they started off by postponing the game for a while, and finally after sitting in the pouring rain for an hour, they decided to call it off.  So we loaded up the buses for a long bus ride back home again.  What a day!
So all of this seems so miserable, and it truly was in the moment.  It took hours to unthaw. I mean, I was so irritated that I posted on facebook.  I never post on facebook, EVER!!! But I did this day.  It was only after numerous comments to my post that I received one that read...

"ok ladies, appreciate these field trips! now that we have teens we are planning field trips to New York! can you say 2 GRAND! HELP!!!!! ( I really enjoyed the free ones!)"

Wow!  That really made me realize how much this field trip was going to be one to remember.  Not because it was cold, wet and rainy, but because it was free, close to home, and I was invited to go along.
Sometimes we need those more experienced mothers to tell us how it really is!  Thanks Missy.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Etsy

Well, if you noticed or you haven't, take a look down at the bottom of my side bar.  Yup, that's my Etsy store.  I know, only two items in there right now, but "my" perfection takes time.  I've lots of downloading anf uploading to do, and by Monday it should look like a REAL STORE!!!  I've been working very hard on a few things and I can't wait to share them with you. 
Make sure to stop by again soon and check in at http://www.etsy.com/shop/jenniferlj
Go ahead and leave some advice here in the comment section.  Anything that you like or that I can improve on.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Oh how proud...

After 4+ months of what seemed to be endless, school and studying, he's almost there.  My DH has been schooling for his EMT certificate, while I've felt like I've been single parenting it while he's been away.  Last night he took one of the many tests that he has left in order to become certified and...... he passed!  One down and two more to go.  We have been so grateful for this education that has been given to him at no cost, through the Fire Department.  We are truly blessed with the Department that we have and they are so amazing.
Cheers! ... to my hubby's accomplishments.