Friday, April 30, 2010

Searching for my purpose

Okay, so here I am weeks later from my last post.  I'm finding myself searching for "me" everyday.  I've discovered that sometimes that hardest person to find can be yourself.  I feel lost.  I'm struggling to find my purpose.  Yes, I know that part of it is to be a wonderful mother and wife and all of that good jazz, but what else am I supposed to be doing???  Right now is when I wish I had that crystal ball.  I know that my future is not for me to know.  I understand that he knows the plans he has for me.  I get it!  But for now, what direction am I supposed to be putting my focus in???



I've been considering going back to school, my cosmetology license is getting me nowhere and I hate doing hair.  Or maybe helping out at the boutique in town, since I love that kind of stuff.  Maybe, I should just push on with my blog, I do love writing in it (but I'm always worried about what my readers think).  I don't know, but what I DO KNOW is that we need more income.  How can I contribute?  I don't want to be a waitress the rest of my life, but it sure does work out well for right now.  But, I also don't want to wait too much longer before deciding to go back to school.  Every week I feel like maybe, just maybe, I've figured it out.  And then, WOW, maybe not.

Please, will somebody tell me that they've been "here".  Will you share your story or tell me how you found some peace maybe?